My topic for today is one close to my heart. When I got married six years ago my husband had to work crazy hours all the way up until the day before the wedding. So, I basically planned our entire wedding by myself (not to mention the 7 other weddings I was working on before mine). You would think that being a planner I would have no problem with this, but I felt that my fiance need to be represented somewhere. I tried to get him involved where I could, but it was not easy. It was just not his thing and he felt that I knew what I was doing and did not want to get in my way. Little did he realize that I really wanted his input. I even bought a book about things a groom should do and left all around the house, thinking he might at least open it. At first, he seemed like he could care less about anything to do with our wedding. I finally decided that instead of him giving an opinion on every little thing, I would narrow down the field first. I would pick the things that he liked and then narrow down the options in those categories, so that when he got home from mid-night shift he could make a good decision quickly. I stopped overwhelming him, I no longer got the deer in headlights look when I brought something over for him to look at. So, the things that I found that mattered to him was the cake (of course), the bar, the food, the ceremony, wedding colors and his attire. He had no interest in flowers, decor, photography; he knew to leave those to the professional. The topics he did want to put his input in he did by making a suggestion or asking questions. I found out by paying a little more attention to him and not the details sitting in front of me that he did care and he did want a wedding as perfect as I did.
So, my Tip is: If your groom is acting like he just does not know what to do or just seems like he does not care, put Down the checklist and the five thousand things that you want to show him and just focus on him for a moment. Listen to suggestions and questions he might be asking. Narrow down the field of options to three items in every category of your wedding, it will make things easier on both of you. The best part about a wedding is its about two people in love joining their lives together. Take time and focus on that.